Evidence that Fran doesn't only write about bus rides and housework disasters.

There’s a slot called ‘I Believe’ in our local newspaper and each week someone from a local faith group contributes.

This week, for the first time, it was my turn to write the column in my capacity as a Christian and member of a local church.

[Yes, you’re dead right, you at the back. She is going to share it with you.]

[No, not every time. She’s not a monster.]

My particular aim for the column is to show people how much humour there is in the Bible. Talking donkeys who give brilliant advice. A man who finds himself inside a big fish (a man who will never eat spare ribs again). People who complain after being freed from 400 years of slavery in Egypt and to whom God has sent manna from heaven that they’re missing the Egyptian onions and garlic and would rather go back. Funny proverbs such as ‘The lazy man says, ‘There’s a LION outside!’ And Jesus himself, sliding jokes into his teachings while everyone else is wearing their serious faces.

That’s without all the comic reversals and imagery: a king born in a stable, for a start. Lions lying down with lambs. Weapons turned into ploughing equipment. It’s all there if you look.

My all-time favourite, though, and the one I wrote about in my first column for the newspaper, is the story of a young man who falls out of a window when a long sermon from a preacher sends him to sleep - with disastrous consequences.

Here’s my column.

‘Our annual holiday in Tenby isn’t until October. Retired from English teaching and now an author, I can holiday during term-time: a new luxury. The downside is that October seems aeons away. I’m yearning already for a rest, the swish of the sea, clifftop views, and an outrageous heap of fish and chips, which as you’ll know are calorie-free on holidays.

It’s natural to need rest, though. We’re not designed to power on interminably until we drop.

By ‘drop’, I mean literally. Have you heard the New Testament story of the young man Eutychus? The location is Troas (now in Turkey), and the apostle Paul is in town to encourage the churches. On the third storey of a house, Eutychus and other believers are crowded in a lamp-lit room after a shared evening meal, listening to Paul. (The Greek word used is dialegomai so think Question Time rather than sermon.)

It gets to midnight but Paul is leaving the next day so is eager to make the most of the visit. Poor Eutychus, though, perched in the open window, has heavy eyelids. Soon, fast asleep, he falls, thumping onto the ground far below. Those who run to help find him, unsurprisingly, deceased.

The apostle Paul, however, rushes downstairs, embraces Eutychus and pronounces him resurrected.

The young man is taken back upstairs alive and, you’d assume, more alert. It’s just as well because Paul continues speaking until daybreak and it’s only then that Eutychus is taken home!

But there’s much compassion in this odd little tale. No one rebukes the young man. Paul doesn’t say to the others, ‘Well, he was bored by me. You resurrect him!’ He embraces and revives him.

We’re human. Sometimes, like that young man, things get too much and however much we try to hang on, we can’t. We’re spent.

I’m looking forward to taking some rest in Tenby. But perhaps not on a window ledge.’

Inside Fran’s Diary

I’ve printed off the first draft of Book 3 in the Jackie Chadwick series and am currently editing rewriting that to make it ready for submission but occasionally I find where my shoes are and venture outside to do other things, such as ….

Friday 20 June from 5-8pm I’m helping my local bookshop Warwick Books to celebrate Independent Bookshop Week 2025 at an event called ‘Authors Among the Bookshelves.’ Tickets are £5 but for that you get drinks, nibbles, 10% off all purchases and a £5 book voucher to spend on the night! Authors taking part are Adam Sharp, Caroline Lea, someone called Fran Hill who probably bribed them to let her in, Kit de Waal, Leena Norms, Natalie Marlow and Rick Thompson. Book here!

Saturday 2 August - a ‘Saturday signing’ at Kenilworth Books in Warwickshire, signing copies of ‘Home Bird’ from 10.30am - 1.30pm. These are always lovely events, spending a morning in a bookshop and chatting to customers. Come and say hello!

Monday 15 September - A free morning event at Alcester Library, in conversation about my books and writing, hosted by Warwickshire Libraries.

Thursday 11 December - a morning talk about ‘Finding the Funny’ to the wonderful Probus Club. They meet at Leamington Rugby Club and when I visited them last year to talk about ‘Language Change’ they were kind enough to laugh at my jokes so this year they’ve invited me to talk about how to make a joke funny. This had better go well.