Evidence that a book launch really happened

1. The serviettes my daughter sourced for my 1970s-themed ‘Home Bird’ book launch on 20 March at Waterstones. I think people were afraid to use them, they were so beautiful. I have 17,000 left.

2. On the left, my brilliant editor, Cari Rosen, who commissioned both ‘Cuckoo in the Nest’ and ‘Home Bird’. If you need an editor or ghost writer, she’s your woman. She’s stuck with me even though I accused her of sending me a hoax email the first time she wrote to say she loved my work.

3. Sausages on sticks, Club biscuits and Black Jacks: a menu that any health guru would recommend.

4. The evening was all about ‘Home Bird’ but Waterstones kindly stocked up on my other two books. ‘Miss, What Does Incomprehensible Mean?’ was published in May 2020 when my book launch was held on Facebook Live, with me sitting in my front room on my own nearly having a heart attack through stress.

5. Evidence that a book display can give significant side-eye.

6. This is me during the ‘presentation’ part of the launch, shuffling papers and wondering what is happening next in a brilliant show of professionalism.

7. So far, everyone’s favourite picture. Me with two drinks. The truth is, I was taking them to a friend so that he could decide which he’d like. But no one cares about the truth.

8. Part of the audience. The lady with the white hair (where are Instagram arrows when you need them?) facing towards the camera won the ‘Guess the number of Black Jacks in the jar’ competition, the prize being not the 284 Black Jacks from the jar but two of my novels and I hope she wasn’t disappointed.

9. This is my daughter, Sarah, who helped to front our little launch show as well as taking charge of the catering and many other aspects. She did exactly the same two years ago for ‘Cuckoo’. You can see me, can’t you, thinking, ‘Did I give birth to this phenomenon of a woman or is she a changeling?’

10. The morning after the launch, I met with my three author mates Deborah Jenkins, Ruth Leigh and Georgie Tennant. They travelled a fair way for the launch and stayed overnight in Leamington Spa. We had a super breakfast at this café called Trough only they spell it Trof which means you can eat 14,000 calories and not feel so bad about it.

11. Here’s another photo of the food table only this time you can see the Bakewell slices that my other daughter, Anna, made. I had suggested that, in true 1970s style, we bought Mr Kipling Bakewell slices but she blanched at the suggestion and insisted on making them herself and ‘No, Mother, I am not using ready-made pastry, you Philistine.’

12. This is me with the afore-mentioned Deborah Jenkins in Trough Trof just before we pigged out on ate the breakfast. Her name’s on the front of ‘Home Bird’ as she was kind enough to pre-read and endorse it even though I call her Debsy-babes.